We did not set out to build a coffee company. We set out, more modestly, to make a coffee we could tolerate. That the arrangement has required a storefront is, frankly, regrettable.
We are often told we are exclusive. We do not find this flattering. Exclusivity implies that one has, at some prior point, considered including you. We have not.
"We do not make coffee for you. We make coffee, and occasionally we permit you to purchase a small amount of it."
The articles
- We do not list prices. If you require a price, you require a different shop.
- We do not answer the telephone. We do not, as a matter of policy, own one.
- We do not run sales, promotions, or any form of encouragement. Our work requires no further inducement.
- We do not accept returns in the ordinary sense. Dissatisfaction, in our view, is a private matter.
- We do not ship on Tuesdays. The reason is our own.
- We do not photograph our coffee. The photograph has not yet been invented that would improve upon it.
- We do not collaborate. Our taste is already represented.
- We do not offer loyalty programmes. Loyalty, rewarded, is not loyalty.
- We do not, under any circumstances, host a podcast.
A closing note
If, having read this, you find yourself unmoved, or — more likely — faintly irritated, we consider the document a success. It has done what was required of it, which is to draw a line and stand politely on our side of it.
If, on the other hand, you find yourself charmed, we encourage you to examine that response with some care. Charm is a symptom.
— The proprietors